First post 5.5 months in....

So....let me introduce myself. To borrow an expression from a more articulate friend I am an 'oncologist at large.' I finished my post-graduate training in 2008 and have the piece of paper to prove it. Until I met my husband I was a doctor. That was it; my identity, my raison d'etre, my future. I loved men in general, I enjoyed my evenings off but work was my focus.

Then, hubby came along, life changed overnight. From men in general I went to loving this man, only this man, from that night onwards.

<<Said husband is being very disparaging at the idea of me writing a blog -- being in love doesn't stop someone being seriously aggravating sometimes!>>

I lost nothing - I passed my exams first pop, I finished my training, including a sojourn in the United Kingdom but I finally understood something my father has always said "No-one on their deathbed wishes they'd spent more time at the office."

We settled down into co-habitation; gardening, DIY etc. very quickly. Shared plans, shared finances bloomed into engagement and then a wedding. Catholic church, white dress, dinner reception the whole bit. We moved to the UK 'to avoid Groundhog Day' in NZ.

We had always wanted children - well I had always wanted children - very much! Hubby thought it was what getting married was 'for.' So we started trying - I love that expression but after 6 months with no pregnancy I started to hate it.

We were trying - really - no-one was having more sex than us. But every month my period arrived - almost always at work, in the middle of a busy clinic, and I would sit on the toilet and breathe - pushing the disappointment away with my breath - willing myself to get back to it. Smile, carry-on - listen to one more patient whinge about one more problem when all I wanted to do was scream because I wasn't pregnant yet!

Anyway I will need at least two glasses of wine before I re-open that particular can of worms so I'm off to toast english muffins and make hubby a cup of tea (which he will ask for when I stand up). It is a work of love this tea-making - long brewing time, two heaped teaspoons of sugar, two fingers of milk, not too hot.......