Mummy groups

Let me preface this by saying I've never been good with large groups of women. I wasn't a popular kid at 14. I was too tall, too bookish, too skinny, didn't wear the right things and didn't know the right things to say. So I was sceptical that Mummy groups would be any better than cliques at high school.

I was wrong!

Before Luke arrived I reassured myself that I had already experienced fear and responsibility - being sole charge doctor of a hospital in the middle of the night - and sleep deprivation - shift work; so how hard could it be!

I was wrong!

I used to think there was nothing to gain from online message boards and that people who spend a lot of time online need some real friends.

I was wrong!

Being Luke's Mum is more good things than I believed possible. The swelling of pride, love and joy in my chest when he giggles while we play "super-baby" is overwhelming. But is also harder than I could possibly imagine.

First, motherhood can be very lonely. My husband didn't get any paternity leave. This is normal in Hong Kong; women are lucky if they get six weeks. So the 1am, 3am, 5am feeds or in the beginning 1am to 5am feeds were all mine. Even in Hong Kong, it is very quiet and the hazy lights of the city have an Apocalypse Now feel about them.

The online birth-boards kept me sane; good advice/bad advice, controversial topics, support, funny pictures. August2010 and July2010 www.babycenter.com - thank you ladies - you helped me through many a long night.

The first couple of weeks, the only trips out of the house were to the doctors or for a thirty minute walk around the park. Then I started to get brave and slightly more sleep. So I searched for mothers' groups in Hong Kong, looking for ladies with babies of Luke's age. This would have happened via antenatal classes in New Zealand but the antenatal classes here are large lectures with hundred plus participants!

I was so lucky to have stumbled across www.geobaby.com and the July-September birth group. These witty, beautiful, generous, warm women had been meeting during their pregnancies but I had missed out because of work. They had established friendships and could have closed shop like 14 year old girls. I'm so grateful they didn't. I have never laughed so hard or learnt so much in such a short time.

Living in Hong Kong as a gweipo first-time-Mum is tough at times. Isolated by language and looking different, it would be easy to find a large rock and hide under it. The Yummy-Mummies have allowed me to explore Hong Kong with Luke with the shelter of other mothers. Their insights into places to go, shop and eat have made my time here more fun. Their baby knowledge, particularly the second time Mums, has been reassuring and helpful.

The camaraderie from this multi-national group of women is amazing and I hope they will feel free to visit in New Zealand when we go home. In return, I'm hoping for invitations to Norway, Australia, Singapore, Germany, Switzerland, United Kingdom and Malaysia - HINT HINT - did I forget anyone?

Again, I feel blessed!

I would also suggest breast-feeding mothers contact their local La Leche League. Breast-feeding is a whole other post however.....